FailBlogisFail

failblogisfail

71,087 notes

My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh my god

I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

4,850 notes

emeranova:

As we all know this is Scrump, she only has a few more days to live due to the bug that laided eggs in her head, but for every like/reblog this picture gets we will donate a dollar towards getting Scrump the much needed surgery she needs to remove the bug eggs from her head.1000 likes/reblogs will be enough to save this cute little doll, have a heart and like or reblog :)

emeranova:

As we all know this is Scrump, she only has a few more days to live due to the bug that laided eggs in her head, but for every like/reblog this picture gets we will donate a dollar towards getting Scrump the much needed surgery she needs to remove the bug eggs from her head.


1000 likes/reblogs will be enough to save this cute little doll, have a heart and like or reblog :)

(via superbooties)

Filed under how cuuuute c':>

21 notes

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
41 Plays
Regina Spektor
My Dear Acquaintance (A Happy New Year)

hearinmymind:

Regina Spektor - My Dear Acquaintance